How to Find Fulfilling Work

Always interested in someone telling me how to overcome this hurdle, this lump in my throat, that keeps me going in a field I outgrew before I even entered it fully, I recently came across "How to Find Fulfilling Work" by Roman Krznaric.



Here are the things that resonated with me about this snippet:

• aim wide, not high (I think I've nailed this one!)
• all of life is an experiment: more experiments = more fulfillment

I want to provide design on a budget.  I don't think beautiful interiors should be limited to people with boatloads of disposable income.  I think beauty enhances life, and home is the most important place to create your own version of beauty.

Getting closer

So maybe it's not that my job is intolerable, but more that it's just not what I want to be doing right now. I don't feel like maintaining this stress level is good for me, my children, my family, or really good for anything. It seems like a waste of energy.  However, having poured a ridiculous amount of student loan money into a healthcare career, it feels heart-wrenching to walk away and start something new.  I'll be paying back those nursing school loans for decades though, regardless of what I'm doing each day for income.  So it actually doesn't  matter if I'm working in the field of healthcare or now. I should be doing what makes me happiest, calmest, and best able to parent my children the way I want to.

In any case, what I actually want is to be doing something creative, related to home interiors and design.  So I guess I should stop agonizing and being upset about this, and just start doing it.  I've been working on our own new apartment for the past 6 months, and making some great progress.  Just yesterday, I put up a few paint samples to see which color was best for an accent wall in the living room.  I'm using black.  H thinks I'm a little nuts, but has never been disappointed with my seemingly "out there" design decisions after they're complete.  It took a little convincing this time, but can't wait for the final product and his reaction (not to mention the girls' reactions!).

Here's to taking the plunge, on a black wall, and a new direction.

Change is hard

Why do I care so much about my work/career? Why do I let it consume me and define me? I'm having a sort of early mid-life reassessment, which makes me wonder if in 10 more years, I'll still feel like I'm floundering with work.  I'm thinking about things like legacy and lifetime accomplishments.  But I'm only 33. So why is this on my mind? I think it might be because we had our third (most likely last) baby this year, and it is a time of transition.

Next Fall, when he starts going to preschool, I'll have more time on my hands, and I want to use it in a way that counts.  I want it to help support my family financially, fulfill me emotionally and creatively, and afford me the flexibility to be present in my children's lives. Am I asking for too much? My husband thinks so.

I read so many design and lifestyle blogs and enjoy watching those women create beautiful spaces and homes, write about motherhood and life, and I wonder, why can't I do that? Are they real people anyway? Do they really blog for a living? Writing and thinking about beauty and tidbits of life all day while their kids are at school? Sounds like a dream.

Am I really a nurse and a Masters prepared public health professional? How did that happen?

Change is so hard (and scary). But why?

a new idea

What about if I had an online shop for food items. I could offer one item at a time for a 1-2 week period. Maybe once or twice a month?  Kind of a pop-up shop.  It would be items that could be picked up on a particular day, or delivered (?) locally.  Some ideas of food items that would work would include: my olive oil granola, jams, baked goods, jerky (I know, weird ideas).  The items would always be seasonal.

This would obviously be limited by being local...unless these things shipped well?

another area in need of change: our pediatrician

On a totally different subject, tomorrow is Emmett's 6 month pediatrician visit. I've known for years that we need to find a new doctor.  Recently, I've decided to find a great family physician or family nurse practitioner and have all of us see that person (including Harell and I).  I haven't followed through on that yet, but I plan to.  Tomorrow's appointment though, is with our current pediatrician.  I can now count among the many reasons I need to find a new doctor this: I'm considering lying to them about where Emmett sleeps!

He starts out in his crib every night, but once he starts waking up to breastfeed, he often stays in bed with us the rest of the night.  Cue the horror movie music - we "co-sleep".  If I were to tell the pediatrician that truth, they would probably scold me for the risky behavior.  Easier to just lie? Wow.  That's a new low in pediatric care.

In other news, I made another batch of granola last night.  It's seriously better than any store-bought granola I've ever tried.

Some thoughts

1. Should I aggressively plan on a career shift? (as though I haven't done THAT before)
2. Should I just let changes unfold organically? (helping friends and my contractor husband with design projects)
3. Or should I start selling my granola? (It's a serious question)

Something's happening

Something's happening. I'm not sure what it will look like exactly, but I feel a shift happening in my life. While I still feel passion for issues in women's health, public health, and all things birth and breastfeeding, I'm not so sure I want to be working tirelessly on these issues for my career.  At the same time, while I thought I'd feel as though I wanted and needed to be home less as my children grow bigger, I feel just the opposite. As my oldest entered Kindergarten this year, I have felt the need to be the one dropping her off and picking her up from school most days, hearing those first few sentences reviewing her day's successes.  One more shift is occurring at the same time (and this one scares me quite a bit): I think my obsession with home interiors and design blogs, is not just a hobby.  There. I said it.

I feel these three things pulling me toward a more creative career, one that is lighter and prettier, more fun and less serious.

We'll see where this leads.