Friday, November 8, 2013

Change is hard

Why do I care so much about my work/career? Why do I let it consume me and define me? I'm having a sort of early mid-life reassessment, which makes me wonder if in 10 more years, I'll still feel like I'm floundering with work.  I'm thinking about things like legacy and lifetime accomplishments.  But I'm only 33. So why is this on my mind? I think it might be because we had our third (most likely last) baby this year, and it is a time of transition.

Next Fall, when he starts going to preschool, I'll have more time on my hands, and I want to use it in a way that counts.  I want it to help support my family financially, fulfill me emotionally and creatively, and afford me the flexibility to be present in my children's lives. Am I asking for too much? My husband thinks so.

I read so many design and lifestyle blogs and enjoy watching those women create beautiful spaces and homes, write about motherhood and life, and I wonder, why can't I do that? Are they real people anyway? Do they really blog for a living? Writing and thinking about beauty and tidbits of life all day while their kids are at school? Sounds like a dream.

Am I really a nurse and a Masters prepared public health professional? How did that happen?

Change is so hard (and scary). But why?

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