Inspiration

I'm full of inspiration.  I know that this is good.  It's a place to start.  But what to do with it? I have so many sources in real life and on the internet, and I just wonder how to let these inspirations take me somewhere. I devour design blogs as though it is my job.  Because I want it to be my job.

Here are the blogs I've been reading for the past 4+ years as I've taken baby step after baby step in this direction:

Little Green Notebook
Style by Emily Henderson
Cup of Jo
Design Mom
Making It Lovely
CopyCat Chic

I love how I feel as though I know these people.  I love that they somehow blend quality writing, design, and imagery, with personal glimpses into their lives in a way that draws readers into their stories.  Oh, to be a design blogger...

2 weeks in

Ditto to the last post.  Still feeling totally blissed out by my new freedom and proud of myself for making a change.  No micromanaging boss to please anymore, just some overly-grateful relatives that are so completely overwhelmed but the growth of their business, that literally ANYTHING I DO is an amazing help.  It's kind of great.  I mean, it's nearly impossible to disappoint them (I'm sure I'll figure out a way eventually), and I have even more flexibility than before.  I'm still making about the same amount of money, so our finances are stable, and it feels promising that this could lead me toward working in design and real estate projects.

Now to my new pipe dream: find a cheapo property either here or in the country that requires a face-lift but not a total gut renovation, and buy it cash for flipping or investment and rental.

In other news, this delicious 10 month old has a fever. Boo.

New year news: I did it.

I did it. I can't believe I quit my public health contract.  I'll finish out the month, and of course do anything I can to help with the transition for my employer.  However, it feels like such a good way to start this new year. I want to work hard on taking care of myself and doing more of the things I enjoy this year.  Ending this part of my work like seems like a perfect first step.

I hemmed and hawed about this decision for months and months.  Ultimately though, doing more of the things that make me happy, made this decision feel easier.  That work does not make me happy.

I'll be helping out my husband's growing construction business while I figure things out.  I also will continue teaching the women's health class I've taught for a couple of years now, because that, does make me happy. This seems to be a pretty straightforward way to think about my next work choices.  Of course, money, time, and financial obligations play a big role in these decisions as well.  I'm lucky to have a back up option that I think I'll actually enjoy more than my old contract.

Other areas I want to focus on this year include:

• starting to exercise again
• cutting back on my sugar intake
• continuing to purge and beautify my home
• yelling less
• and of course...finding a way to make a living from my design obsession

I'm feeling proud of myself for taking this important step.  Finally.

How to Find Fulfilling Work

Always interested in someone telling me how to overcome this hurdle, this lump in my throat, that keeps me going in a field I outgrew before I even entered it fully, I recently came across "How to Find Fulfilling Work" by Roman Krznaric.



Here are the things that resonated with me about this snippet:

• aim wide, not high (I think I've nailed this one!)
• all of life is an experiment: more experiments = more fulfillment

I want to provide design on a budget.  I don't think beautiful interiors should be limited to people with boatloads of disposable income.  I think beauty enhances life, and home is the most important place to create your own version of beauty.

Getting closer

So maybe it's not that my job is intolerable, but more that it's just not what I want to be doing right now. I don't feel like maintaining this stress level is good for me, my children, my family, or really good for anything. It seems like a waste of energy.  However, having poured a ridiculous amount of student loan money into a healthcare career, it feels heart-wrenching to walk away and start something new.  I'll be paying back those nursing school loans for decades though, regardless of what I'm doing each day for income.  So it actually doesn't  matter if I'm working in the field of healthcare or now. I should be doing what makes me happiest, calmest, and best able to parent my children the way I want to.

In any case, what I actually want is to be doing something creative, related to home interiors and design.  So I guess I should stop agonizing and being upset about this, and just start doing it.  I've been working on our own new apartment for the past 6 months, and making some great progress.  Just yesterday, I put up a few paint samples to see which color was best for an accent wall in the living room.  I'm using black.  H thinks I'm a little nuts, but has never been disappointed with my seemingly "out there" design decisions after they're complete.  It took a little convincing this time, but can't wait for the final product and his reaction (not to mention the girls' reactions!).

Here's to taking the plunge, on a black wall, and a new direction.

Change is hard

Why do I care so much about my work/career? Why do I let it consume me and define me? I'm having a sort of early mid-life reassessment, which makes me wonder if in 10 more years, I'll still feel like I'm floundering with work.  I'm thinking about things like legacy and lifetime accomplishments.  But I'm only 33. So why is this on my mind? I think it might be because we had our third (most likely last) baby this year, and it is a time of transition.

Next Fall, when he starts going to preschool, I'll have more time on my hands, and I want to use it in a way that counts.  I want it to help support my family financially, fulfill me emotionally and creatively, and afford me the flexibility to be present in my children's lives. Am I asking for too much? My husband thinks so.

I read so many design and lifestyle blogs and enjoy watching those women create beautiful spaces and homes, write about motherhood and life, and I wonder, why can't I do that? Are they real people anyway? Do they really blog for a living? Writing and thinking about beauty and tidbits of life all day while their kids are at school? Sounds like a dream.

Am I really a nurse and a Masters prepared public health professional? How did that happen?

Change is so hard (and scary). But why?

a new idea

What about if I had an online shop for food items. I could offer one item at a time for a 1-2 week period. Maybe once or twice a month?  Kind of a pop-up shop.  It would be items that could be picked up on a particular day, or delivered (?) locally.  Some ideas of food items that would work would include: my olive oil granola, jams, baked goods, jerky (I know, weird ideas).  The items would always be seasonal.

This would obviously be limited by being local...unless these things shipped well?