Back to reality

Jetlag sucks.  Hard core.  It's one thing as an adult to fly overseas and adjust to new time zones. With three small children? It's torture.  We are waking up at 2-3am FOR. THE. DAY.  That means each day lasts approximately 18 hours - and that's when I fall asleep at 8pm!!!

I know.  It's temporary.

After all, the last two weeks looked mostly like this, so I'll stop complaining.

First birthday, big trip, and my first design gig!

Lots of exciting things this week! Yesterday we celebrated my baby boy's first birthday.  I feel so bittersweet since he's probably our last baby, but he is the sweetest guy.  He's wild and cuddly - a wonderful combo.

This weekend, we leave for a 2 week trip to Israel!  My husband's family is from there so we try to visit every 1.5 - 2 years.  This is getting increasingly challenging as our family grows, but we are doing it :) This will be our first overseas flight with 3 kids - wish me luck! I've already started packing.  I've learned the only way to feel calm about preparing is to pack for one of us each night for the whole week preceding the trip. Crazy, I know.

A parent of a child in my middle daugher's preschool class has asked me to help to design for her new home in September! I know it's far off, but I can't believe I am actually having a design job fall in my lap.  I've been on this long, slow, meandering path toward interior design as a source of income, but it feels like I'm actually getting somewhere.  This only happened as a result of her seeing our home :)
So satisfying and flattering.  I can't wait!

Inspiration

I'm full of inspiration.  I know that this is good.  It's a place to start.  But what to do with it? I have so many sources in real life and on the internet, and I just wonder how to let these inspirations take me somewhere. I devour design blogs as though it is my job.  Because I want it to be my job.

Here are the blogs I've been reading for the past 4+ years as I've taken baby step after baby step in this direction:

Little Green Notebook
Style by Emily Henderson
Cup of Jo
Design Mom
Making It Lovely
CopyCat Chic

I love how I feel as though I know these people.  I love that they somehow blend quality writing, design, and imagery, with personal glimpses into their lives in a way that draws readers into their stories.  Oh, to be a design blogger...

2 weeks in

Ditto to the last post.  Still feeling totally blissed out by my new freedom and proud of myself for making a change.  No micromanaging boss to please anymore, just some overly-grateful relatives that are so completely overwhelmed but the growth of their business, that literally ANYTHING I DO is an amazing help.  It's kind of great.  I mean, it's nearly impossible to disappoint them (I'm sure I'll figure out a way eventually), and I have even more flexibility than before.  I'm still making about the same amount of money, so our finances are stable, and it feels promising that this could lead me toward working in design and real estate projects.

Now to my new pipe dream: find a cheapo property either here or in the country that requires a face-lift but not a total gut renovation, and buy it cash for flipping or investment and rental.

In other news, this delicious 10 month old has a fever. Boo.

New year news: I did it.

I did it. I can't believe I quit my public health contract.  I'll finish out the month, and of course do anything I can to help with the transition for my employer.  However, it feels like such a good way to start this new year. I want to work hard on taking care of myself and doing more of the things I enjoy this year.  Ending this part of my work like seems like a perfect first step.

I hemmed and hawed about this decision for months and months.  Ultimately though, doing more of the things that make me happy, made this decision feel easier.  That work does not make me happy.

I'll be helping out my husband's growing construction business while I figure things out.  I also will continue teaching the women's health class I've taught for a couple of years now, because that, does make me happy. This seems to be a pretty straightforward way to think about my next work choices.  Of course, money, time, and financial obligations play a big role in these decisions as well.  I'm lucky to have a back up option that I think I'll actually enjoy more than my old contract.

Other areas I want to focus on this year include:

• starting to exercise again
• cutting back on my sugar intake
• continuing to purge and beautify my home
• yelling less
• and of course...finding a way to make a living from my design obsession

I'm feeling proud of myself for taking this important step.  Finally.

How to Find Fulfilling Work

Always interested in someone telling me how to overcome this hurdle, this lump in my throat, that keeps me going in a field I outgrew before I even entered it fully, I recently came across "How to Find Fulfilling Work" by Roman Krznaric.



Here are the things that resonated with me about this snippet:

• aim wide, not high (I think I've nailed this one!)
• all of life is an experiment: more experiments = more fulfillment

I want to provide design on a budget.  I don't think beautiful interiors should be limited to people with boatloads of disposable income.  I think beauty enhances life, and home is the most important place to create your own version of beauty.

Getting closer

So maybe it's not that my job is intolerable, but more that it's just not what I want to be doing right now. I don't feel like maintaining this stress level is good for me, my children, my family, or really good for anything. It seems like a waste of energy.  However, having poured a ridiculous amount of student loan money into a healthcare career, it feels heart-wrenching to walk away and start something new.  I'll be paying back those nursing school loans for decades though, regardless of what I'm doing each day for income.  So it actually doesn't  matter if I'm working in the field of healthcare or now. I should be doing what makes me happiest, calmest, and best able to parent my children the way I want to.

In any case, what I actually want is to be doing something creative, related to home interiors and design.  So I guess I should stop agonizing and being upset about this, and just start doing it.  I've been working on our own new apartment for the past 6 months, and making some great progress.  Just yesterday, I put up a few paint samples to see which color was best for an accent wall in the living room.  I'm using black.  H thinks I'm a little nuts, but has never been disappointed with my seemingly "out there" design decisions after they're complete.  It took a little convincing this time, but can't wait for the final product and his reaction (not to mention the girls' reactions!).

Here's to taking the plunge, on a black wall, and a new direction.